And these promises broken, Deep below Each word gets lost in the echo So one last lie I can see through This time I finally let you go…”
- Lost in the echo, Linkin Park (Living Things)
Like millions of others around the world, I am also a die-hard fan of Linkin Park (LP). There is something in Chester's voice that even when he screams (in songs like Crawling, Given Up, etc.), it's so soothing. I am sure that folks who enjoy LP would second that. And the incredible rhythm and melodies they pack are just unbelievable. But one of the most underrated pieces of their music is their lyrics. Be it Breaking the habit, Waiting for the End, Numb, the list goes on.
And as Frank Ocean said, “When you're happy, you enjoy the music but when you're sad, you understand the lyrics”. Recently these lyrics have hit me hard. I had made a promise to someone like they did to me. Who's to blame if time and reality tore us apart and made it impossible to keep the promise. In situations like these, you begin to doubt if you are a coward or liar for not keeping your promises. Or just plain naive and stupid.
Those broken promises are lost in time. They are “Lost in the echo”. But not from your mind. And it eats you slowly from inside, but you don't realize. All the suppressed emotions and hurt erupts uncontrollably when you least expect it months or years later. What do you do in such cases? How do you forgive yourself? How do you forgive them?
In one of my all-time favorite James Bond movies, “Casino Royale”, Vesper Lynd sacrifices her life for James. But she had to betray him first. So was it love? In one scene “M” asks James if he needs time. James replies, “Why did I need more time? Job's done. The b*tch is dead”. One of the coldest James Bond lines ever. But in later series, we see him vulnerable every time something reminds him of Vesper. Even the great James Bond struggles with emotional suppression.
One of my other favorite characters who deal with a similar situation is Thomas Shelby from the Shelby Company Limited, in the brilliant series Peaky Blinders. His beloved wife gets killed when she takes a bullet aimed at him. We see him struggle heavily, even increasingly drink and do substance abuse. But later in the series, we see him talking to his son, rather ruminating, alone in a quiet place. He says, “Now remember last night when you asked for mama? She's gone Charlie and there's a few things we need to get straight. There's her photograph, there's her clothes. I'll keep things the way they are in the room. Just keep the things where they are. I am not much good Charlie, you'll find that out soon enough. She's not gonna be coming back, so it's just you and me.” This is how Tommy deals with loss in his special way.
I know you would say it's just fiction. But we all go through something similar in real life too. We all have our fair share of the good and the bad. The happy and the sad. How we deal with our loss, pain, hurt, etc. says a lot about the strength of our mind and our character. Though I love Daniel Craig's version of Bond so much, for this particular scenario I would rather emulate Thomas Shelby. Take time and let go, in my special way.
And this article is a reminder to myself. I hope it's the same for you too.